Go Fish

Surrendering each facet of our lives to Jesus’ Lordship is a familiar theme for every believer. It certainly has been a consistent subject in my journey. We yield the “big ones,” and we make blanket statements of giving all we are to Christ.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

But He sometimes focuses on the facets we miss. Because He is, after all, relentless and thorough in His pursuit of loving us fully.

If I were to imagine it in terms of a card game, a recent conversation He and I had would have gone something like this…

“Do you remember how to play Go Fish?” Jesus asks as He deals out a large hand for Himself and me.

Must we play cards when He knows I’d rather go for a walk or a canoe trip? But He is not asking my opinion today. “I try to match cards by asking for what You might have. If You don’t have it, I draw from the pile.”

“Yep. You go first.”

I realize I don’t have my glasses and am squinting to see my own cards. “Give me all Your 8’s.”

“Go fish.”

I look at my card again. That’s not an 8 anyway. It’s a capital B. I make out the rest of the letters: Big Dreams. I draw a card from the pile. It says Disappointment. Odd deck. Apparently this is not the game I thought. I don’t like card games anyway. Why do we have to play this?

It’s Jesus’ turn. “Give me all your…Creativity.”

I pass the single card. Guess I should have known He would have plenty of Creativity in His hand. And that seems about right for me—creativity is the first to go.

What will He have that matches my stack of cards? “OK. Give me all Your…Criticism.”

“Go fish,” He responds with a slow, measured intensity to a mountain of painful fear inside me.

We both pause to let that exchange sink in.

I draw from the pile a card that says Confidence. Pretty sure I don’t have a match for that in my hand. Surely He does. Then I remember I’m playing with the Omniscient, who knows what I drew and the rest of my hand. This is not fair. And it’s His turn.

“Give me all your…Strategy.”

“Go fish,” I answer immediately.

He draws, smiles at His card, and places a completed set face down in front of Him.

I look at my cards and realize the Disappointment card matches plenty more in my hand. Before I decide my next move, I place a completed set face down in front of me.

“Whatcha got?” He asks.

As if He doesn’t already know? “Enough disappointment for a book.”

“Trade Me.” He answers my quizzical look with “My game. My rules.”

He switches the places of our face-down sets. I wonder what I have, but I’m not sure if it’s ok to look.

“Is it My turn?” He is moving on. “Give Me all your…”

“Jesus,” I interrupt, “I don’t like games. I’ve already given You everything in my life. I am Yours. All I have is Yours. Why are we doing this?”

“What’s in your hand?”

“A bunch of stuff that doesn’t match and a bunch of stuff neither of us wants.”

“Give Me all your Awkwardness.”

I am looking at the table with an uncovered soul. He is not backing down.

“Give Me all your Discouragement. Give Me all your Failures. Give Me all your Powerlessness and Insignificance. Give Me all your Small-mindedness and Hesitation. Give Me all your Fear. Here’s one—give Me all the draining Head-Chatter by the accuser-of-the-brethren. And how about that pileup of broken, unspoken Pieces of Dreams?”

I fold.

Not because I have lost. Because I have been known. And pursued. And loved.

“Jesus, why do You want those?”

“Why do you want them? You have surrendered the things you love to Me. Rightly so. You hold them with an open hand and steward them as Mine, not yours. But do you think these less-desirable cards are somehow yours to own? You ‘own’ them to the point that they cloud your view of My opinion of you. Give them to Me the same way you yielded your children and your time and your love to Me.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes. My tears are dripping on the table.

“Trade Me?” He asks again.

I look up into the face of compassion and acquiesce.

With one hand He sweeps all my cards over to His side. And with the other hand, He slides one card across the table to me.

I turn it face up. It is the King of Hearts.

I win.